It’s funny how we wanted to be adults when we were young. How we always played doctors, teachers, singers … to pretend we were grown ups. How we laughed at people when they said we should enjoy our childhood while we still have it.

How we couldn’t wait to go to school, get our dream job, have our own house, get married, have kids. When we didn’t know what all of that even meant. When we thought life is perfect. That nothing bad can happen. That life is like a fairy tale.

Those times when we still believed in Santa and Tooth fairy. When cartoon heroes were our idols. When our only worry was that Tom will catch Jerry or “the bad guy” will win. When the only thing we were afraid of were “monsters” under our beds, closets.

It’s funny how my childhood cartoons are celebrating anniversaries now. That some of them aren’t even on TV anymore. How my celebrity crushes are having kids. My favorite bands, musicians from the past are separating or barely playing. There are so many songs I used to listen to which I only now realize were published about 6 or 7 years ago.

I feel like time flies. It goes faster and faster. When did it all happen ? Did I feel asleep and only now woke up ?

My friends and family are getting driving licence, jobs. I’m not a freshman anymore. I will soon have to decide which college I want to get in and I still have no idea what I want to do in my life. Everything just goes so fast. I barely remember last school year, I can’t believe new one is right behind the corner. Everyday seems nothing special, but looking back …

I want to enjoy moments. Live life, you know ? But how if I only appreciate things when they’re gone. When those moments are already over. When they are just memories. And I’m afraid I’ll forget them.

How can I stop this ? This time ? Is there a pause button anywhere ?

I want to achieve something in life but I don’t do anything about it. I just sit here when life goes on. Without me. Even things that I achieved seem like nothing now. Am I closer to where I want to be ? I don’t know. I’m writing about success but I have no idea where to start or what do I really want.

Like, I feel like New Years Eve was yesterday and it’s already summer. Well end of it. And everyone keeps talking about Christmas. We’re not there yet ! Wait !

It’s funny how I see kids now a days and think how world has changed since I was a little kid. How they will never experience the childhood I had. How they won’t play games outside like we used to but will rather hunt Pokemons.

When did our life became internet? When did we kind of forgot our closest ones ? When did life became caring about how much likes you get on your profile picture and how many followers you have ? How do all this 12 year olds know so much about makeup when I only wear mascara ?

My mind is a mess. I’m confused. I want to do sooo much but I’m afraid I’ll get old before accomplishing everything. Getting old isn’t bad tho, I’m not even that old. I have my whole life in front of me.

I know I can’t do anything about adulthood and I guess it’s not that bad, you just have to pull out the best of it. I just have to deal with it.

 

Nusha

 

Advertisements