It was a beautiful, sunny morning. It was the middle of the summer and I was waiting with my friend A for my friend B. Their actual names aren’t A and B nor do their names start with these letters, but I’ll call them like that. Okay, I was sitting with my friend A at a bus station. We weren’t getting on a bus, but we didn’t know where else to wait. There was a shadow and a bench and it seemed like a nice idea. We had to wait for a few minutes. I don’t know exactly what were we talking about, but it seemed important or interesting as I didn’t see the girl who came to sit next to me. Well I saw her coming and sitting down, but didn’t pay too much attention to it. Meeting strangers at a bus station is nothing unusual. But what was about to happen was.
You see, I take a bus home everyday from school. I’ve seen a bunch of people standing there and a bunch who go on the same one as me. But never have I talked to them nor did they talked to me. I wait there with my friends and I never had the urge to go there and start a conversation. I wouldn’t know what to say anyways and it would be weird. Talking to someone just like that about something other than “When’s the bus coming?” or “Did we miss it?” is a bit awkward. Nobody really does it. I guess we’re just shy of meeting new people even if we want to. Or the people you see are weird. Either way it’s a no-go.
Now this girl who came. She sat there for a while, looking like she’s lost in her thoughts. I continued a conversation with my friend A while she suddenly interrupted us. She said : “Am I really that ugly? ” and looked at us. We weren’t talking about her appearance. We weren’t talking about her at all to make things clear. Nothing that she could understand wrong. She just asked us that with a sad look in her eyes. We both turned to her, surprised and a bit shocked, because that came out of nowhere and we weren’t expecting her to say anything at all, specially not something like that. I said: “No, why?” and she just shrug her shoulders and looked away. In that moment I’ve noticed that her face was a bit swollen, like she was crying and her eyes a bit red. We had to go then, because it was time to meet up with the friend B, but I couldn’t get that girl out of my mind for days.
It was so strange to have someone ask me that in person. Okay, I’ve seen a billion posts like that before and I’ve talked about this with people in person before, but never has a stranger asked me something like that. I couldn’t stop thinking about the reasons she acted like that. Did she broke up with someone? Is she bullied ? Did someone said something like that to her? I had a billion questions and only then I realized that I didn’t ask her any of it. I didn’t help her, have I ? All I said was “no, why?”. She didn’t seem like she wanted to talk, but I could try. Why did I just leave? At least I wasn’t quiet, but still. What if there was a way I could have helped that girl? If you want to know my friend A didn’t do anything as well. I don’t know if she even said something.
We’re not bad people. I always do things in a way nobody gets hurt. I usually care about other people’s happiness more that I do mine. I don’t do enough for myself and always try to make everyone happy. But why was I quiet this time? Because she wasn’t my friend? Because she was a stranger? What does that have to do with it?
I’ve seen that girl a few times after that. At least I think it was her. She seemed okay and I don’t think she remembered me. Maybe she was just thinking out loud, but I’ll never forget that, because it got me thinking. Maybe it’s good to mention that she looked older than us, she wasn’t exactly a 10-year-old. I’m not trying to say that anything has to do with her age, but you might appreciate the fact to see a bigger picture.
Every time I look myself into the mirror and see something I don’t like I remember her. Bad hair day. Pimple in the middle of my forehead. Another one on the nose. Cracked lips. Dark circles under eyes. And there’s that girl.
I know you felt like this before. Everybody does. Even the model of the year or miss universe. We’re all people. Hard to believe, huh ? It’s true. I know you know about Photoshop and things they do to the models to look their best. I know you know it’s all fake. That you shouldn’t compare yourself to others. Be the unique self. Blah blah blah.
There is truth in all of this and I’m going to mention it a few times more, but does that help you ? Like really help you? Why do you have to read those advises day by day ? Put them on your wall so you remember yourself everyday how beautiful you are ? Why ? It’s not that hard to remember, accepting it is harder. I don’t think you need those words said that many times rather than learning to use them.
Why don’t you remember how many times somebody complimented you, told you you look beautiful ?Why don’t you accept it rather than say “yeah, right” and forget about it ? Bad words hurt us more, I know that. If you made a list of all the times somebody called you beautiful and ugly on the other side, don’t you think there would be more of the positive ones ? I believe so, if not, people around you are jerks. Sorry, but it’s true. Because everybody is beautiful. Every. Single. One. Sounds like such a cliché to say that, but listen to me. I don’t lie. Not to my readers.
Beauty is never measured just by the appearance. But what about ..? No. You know who ugly people are to me ? Do you want to know what “ugly” means to me ? The ones who go out there and kill people for no reason. People who have no conscience. The ones who are hypocritical. People like that. Wait there a second. I didn’t mention pimples, cellulite or frizzy hair. Because honestly, I don’t mind that. All I ask for is personal hygiene for your own good and that’s it.
Wear make up if you want to, not because you “have to”. Look at it as a way of expressing yourself trough art. Be comfortable in your own skin. Appreciate every compliment even from your mom and compliment back even if you don’t know the person. Make their day. Who cares if it might be weird. Don’t be quiet as I was. Be better than me.Be kind. You never know what kind of struggles the person is going trough, even if everything seems fine. Be the change you wanna see. Be the one who dared to say something as simple as “Wow, this shoes are lovely!”
I know I’d act differently now. I just wish I knew that before.